Why?

The question that will never have an answer. Why? Someone tell me the reason for taking my Dad when the pain is still so fresh from losing my little brother 7 years ago. I don't understand. I don't think I can do this again.

Last Friday, May 30, my Father passed away. And it still feels far too surreal to type that. I am completely heartbroken. Shocked. Devastated. Lost. In denial. Grieving the loss of the most selfless man that I've ever known. Trying desperately to hold it all together. They initially told us that it was a heart attack. A few days later we found out that it was an accident at work that is still unclear. And now there are so many questions that closure feels out of reach. I want to say that it's unfair. But it never is fair for a girl to lose her Daddy.

The service was Tuesday. It was a beautiful service and I was overwhelmed by the number of people that came out to support us and to show what an amazing influence my Dad had on their life. What an honor to have a Father that has touched so many. He truly was an incredible man. I feel like I'm lacking the words right now to do this post justice. At the service, I read something that I wrote for him last year, so I will leave it here as a tribute to my Dad...

While many kids have fathers that golf, fish, smoke cigars, and wear ties... I do not. I have a Big Don. To say that he's far from conventional is an understatement. But he's the reason that my childhood was so colorful. So full of laughter. So much fun. He's the only Dad I know that drove a baby blue minivan, tinted, complete with a sound system; amp, sub woofers, the whole works. And he'd come cruising down the street with country music blaring and bass pumping. He'd tell dirty jokes in the most inappropriate of times. He's had a mohawk. He started food fights. He once let us dye his hair purple with grape Kool-Aid, and got angry when it just wasn't purple enough. He drove a Harley Davidson. And then a crotch rocket. I've been lucky enough to witness him sing 'I'm too Sexy' in rabbit-skin briefs and a feather headband. He has a tattoo. He had a tongue ring. He laughs at himself. He enjoys life, and doesn't care what anyone else thinks about it along the way. I think this picture pretty much sums it up... This was his choice of attire for my birthday party. At McDonald's. Now that's classic.
He's everything that other Dads were not. And I adore him for that. I wouldn't change a thing. Because beyond the abundance of humor, he is the most kind, hardworking, selfless person that I know. He was always willing to drop anything to help someone in need. I don't know anyone with a bigger heart.

My Dad was 50 years old. Despite reaching this milestone, I think we all knew he would never truly 'grow up'. And that's just one of the many things that we all love and will miss about him. These are some of the memories I will forever cherish.

I love you Daddy...

Photo credit: Del Sol Photography